Japanese rugby player blames positive test on beard growth cream ?

A Japanese rugby player is set to miss the World Cup after there was steroids found in a cream he was using in an attempt to grow a cool moustache.

Yes, you read that last sentence correctly; Ryohei Yamanaka is facing a six-month ban after testing positive for steroids, which he subsequently discovered were contained in a cream he was using to add a bit of maturity to his pre-pubescent appearance.

With his facial hair obviously more Gary Neville than Tom Selleck, Yamanaka was perhaps getting in some early preparation for Movember, a charity campaign that is traditionally supported by rugby players neglecting to use their razor for a four-week period.

Unfortunately for the player, however, it could be next year before he is back in action, as a six month ban is expected to be imposed for his hilariously misguided makeover attempt.

Shocked Japanese coach John Kirwan attempted to defend his player, but doesn’t expect rugby’s governing bodies to be so lenient.

“I spoke to him at the time,” said Kirwan.

“I don’t think he was aware of the severity of it. We spent 24 hours trying to find out what he had taken.

“It was a little tube of hair-growth cream. He just didn’t think. Apparently he has failed the (B sample) too. From what I gather he’s innocent but (the IRB) take a dim view.”

An embarrassed Yamanaka apologised for his actions on Twitter, saying he was “sorry for causing such problems” and added that the product in question was “not a hair growth tonic which helps grow hair on the head”.